Readers of a nervous disposition please look away now - the following blog post contains pictures of a graphic nature which many may find disturbing.
Please excuse the mucky trainers - at this time of year I only tend to get my legs out when I'm going for a run.
Let's just say Famous Dave's fake tan was not a resounding success. Please note the tide marks around my toes - believe me, it looks even worse in real life.
My legs look like they've been creosoted and my sheets are stained in a most disturbing manner.
David Dickinson eat your heart out.