Please excuse the mucky trainers - at this time of year I only tend to get my legs out when I'm going for a run.
Let's just say Famous Dave's fake tan was not a resounding success. Please note the tide marks around my toes - believe me, it looks even worse in real life.
Just look at all those goodies!
There's probably about £150 worth of stuff there, so that's my first concern put to rest - but I now have others to take its place.
Like I have to try a fake tan.
Right now.
We've been away for a few days (more of that another time) and I've already missed one of the deadlines for submitting my opinions, so today has seen me undertaking a major deforestation program on my legs a few months earlier than I was hoping for. Then there was the exfoliating and the applying with a special mitten to get my head around. Now I just have to wait until the morning to see if I've been tangoed.
By the way, don't let any impressionable young children follow that last link - apparently it may turn them into happy slappers (not to be confused with the unhappy slapper that I will look like tomorrow morning if this all goes disastrously wrong.
...and please note the rest of the weed free, freshly dug vegetable plot in the background.
Smug? You bet I am! It was so pleasant being out in the garden, all on my own with the sun shining down on my back and only birdsong and church bells to punctuate the silence.
I've even set up the electric propagator and planted my cucumber, tomato and aubergine seeds. This is very much an experiment for me, so fingers crossed something will grow eventually.
On Sunday we shared a romantic champagne afternoon tea for two at Rookery Hall, a much appreciated Christmas gift from my husband's brother and his wife. If you're interested in celebrity stuff, this is where Posh and Becks announced their engagement. Can't say that sells it to me, but I remember the local papers being full of it at the time!
Oh, and at some point we made homemade hobnobs using this recipe. I've been too busy eating them to take any photographs, but they are delicious and have had the thumbs up from the whole family and a couple of my son's friends as well.
But today it was back to work and all that entails. I won't bore you (or me) with the details.
Yarnbombing, apparently.
As a secret thank you for their unknown participation I made a purchase from each - yellow tulips for my special tulip vase (bought from an auction many years ago and I still love it) and beef sausages from the butcher.
We saw snow on the fell tops. 
We saw lots of blue sky...
...and spring flowers...
...and lovely views.
Baby was originally bought for my son, but my daughter took a shine to him and adopted him very early on in life. He is still very much loved and she cannot sleep without him.
Earlier this week she was very embarrassed when she came downstairs with him and bumped into a couple of my son's friends: "But Mummy, I'm in year 5. I shouldn't still be carrying my teddy around."
It's a shame - I shall miss seeing his grubby little face around the place if he gets confined to bed all day. When she was younger I used to put him in different places around the house and pretend he'd been helping me out with my chores. He was often to be found with a wooden spoon or a duster in his hand when she came in from school. Maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part!
Penguin belongs to my son. He is already confined to the bedroom and is most definitely not allowed to school trips, sleepovers or anything else where other people might see him. But he is still very much loved. He is also my sworn enemy and we regularly come to blows. Oh, and he has a pet name for me - Auntie Yin! Of course, I didn't tell you any of this.
The reason I'm writing this is because, just recently, I'm constantly being reminded of how quickly my children are growing up and leaving so many of theirs childish toys and ways behind them. I hope these two get to stay around for quite a while yet but, just in case they don't, I wanted to have a record of them. For the children, you understand.
Slowly stewed in the oven and mixed with whipped cream it made a delicious rhubarb fool which I served up with homemade shortbread biscuits.
Purple sprouting broccoli - one of my all time favourite vegetables. It looked so pretty that I was tempted just to put it in a vase on the table, but greed prevailed so I steamed it and served it up as the star accompaniment to a slow-cooked beef casserole and mashed potatoes.
...my first ever thing from Cath Kidston. A lovely, bright tea towel to take the drudgery out of doing the dishes. I am a very luck girl indeed.
And no, somebody hasn't stolen my egg - it's just a handy receptacle for the various vitamins I've decided might keep me on the right side of healthy.
It was a long haul back to the car (particularly for the dog that doesn't like walking, although she did have fun running around, very fast, off the lead).
And then there was a pub lunch (a bit disappointing but not enough to spoil the day - at least I didn't have to cook it) and presents and a long soak in the bath. Such a pity it had to come to an end. 
And, having used up the last egg to make the cakes, I then had an empty egg box, which is just what I needed for my next project - chitting my seed potatoes.
Guinea pigs.
They are lovely pets for children. Cute, easy to handle and, though quite prolific in the bowel offerings department, at least they're of the compact variety that are relatively easy to clean up.
However, they can also be rather prone to skin infections.
And, if they get one, you have to bath them.
That's right, bath a guinea pig.
Did I say they were easy to handle?
That's in their unsoapy, unterrified state.
They're still cute though.
Especially when you get to cuddle them dry.
Why, when I turn around, does the rest of the house look like this?
It would seem that the absence of flowers to gaze at in the garden has driven me to ingesting them instead. And these two new flowery flavours certainly perked me up a little - Fentiman's Rose Lemonade and Montezuma's Orange and Geranium chocolate.
And now I feel a little better. Not great, but not as totally useless as a few days ago.
And the change and action I was blaming up there.
Well, it's been identified.
Now, what to do about it?
And that's it for now. I may or may not complete it and I reserve the right to revise it any time I feel like it. It's my list and I'm damn well going to enjoy it!
And, like all good babies, she slept for hours after all the excitement.
...the undeniable evidence that, for much of my youth, I could have been an understudy for Bet Lynch?!
