Progress report

Readers of a nervous disposition please look away now - the following blog post contains pictures of a graphic nature which many may find disturbing.

Before:

Please excuse the mucky trainers - at this time of year I only tend to get my legs out when I'm going for a run.

After:

Let's just say Famous Dave's fake tan was not a resounding success. Please note the tide marks around my toes - believe me, it looks even worse in real life.

My legs look like they've been creosoted and my sheets are stained in a most disturbing manner.

David Dickinson eat your heart out.

It's arrived!

My parcel from the Beauty Bible:

Just look at all those goodies!

There's probably about £150 worth of stuff there, so that's my first concern put to rest - but I now have others to take its place.

Like I have to try a fake tan.

Right now.

We've been away for a few days (more of that another time) and I've already missed one of the deadlines for submitting my opinions, so today has seen me undertaking a major deforestation program on my legs a few months earlier than I was hoping for. Then there was the exfoliating and the applying with a special mitten to get my head around. Now I just have to wait until the morning to see if I've been tangoed.

By the way, don't let any impressionable young children follow that last link - apparently it may turn them into happy slappers (not to be confused with the unhappy slapper that I will look like tomorrow morning if this all goes disastrously wrong.

How fickle am I?

A couple of weeks ago I was going to write a ranting post about the price of beauty or some such of a title.

You see I'd picked up a copy of In Style and was perusing their 100 best beauty buys for 2010.
Well, I'm not getting any younger and if you're going to buy lotions and potions you may as well buy the ones that come highly recommended. Or not.

It would seem that the current skincare du jour is from Sisley. A mere £218 for their anti-aging cream and the night cream's a snip at £435. One reviewer commented that her friends asked if she'd had botox after she started using it. Is that a good thing? And anyway, wouldn't botox be cheaper?

So, I settled for my usual cheaper and cheerful regime and resigned myself to wrinkles - at least that way I wouldn't have to put the kids on eBay.

But then today I got an email from the Beauty Bible. Ages ago I'd volunteered to be a tester for them and then promptly forgotten all about it. But now they need me. Yes, they are specifically looking for over 35s to test the latest and greatest new products on.

The deal goes something like this. I pay them £30 to cover admin, postage and packing and I get 10 products worth substantially more and a load of forms to fill in. Hopefully, I'll also emerge at the end of it all transformed into a vision of radiance.

I'll keep you posted on my progress. No pictures though - I doubt any cream will be able to work those kind of miracles!